No, you say goodbye..

Laine, you are an Angel! Mark has put it very eloquently.

For me, Mom has had such a hard life and although I know she has not always made the right decisions, she has always been completely dedicated to bringing us all up as best she could. She is like an old war horse. Carried us all through our early years at great cost to her own life in the end. When we pray we need to remember that the most important thing as a Christian is to be understanding of others circumstances and try hard to be non-judgemental. Given the circumstances she has survived through, I am not sure at all that I would have been able to do it without all the bad habits she has developed in doing so.

I remember growing up at Bonnyvale and her always making sure we had the right school clothes to wear. I remember Mark and I sneaking into the spare room in the cottage at Bonnyvale and looking through all our Christmas presents, and how upset Mom was because she had probably got herself into debt right up to the hilt just to make sure we had a fantastic Christmas!

It can’t have been easy in those days to be divorced with two kids (especially wild and naughty ones like us) and trying to meet someone who was perfect and accepting. But, she did meet Pete, who I know has his faults along with her own I am sure, but with Mom they brought a most wonderful Brother and Sister into this world, for which I am truly grateful! I don’t know, or care about all the reasons that Mom never stayed with Keith or Pete, because I know she is the most caring and wonderful person and having been through life a bit and having my own kids am only just beginning to understand the complexities and challenges of life myself.

What I do know is that Mom has dedicated herself totally to looking after her kids through various desperate situations. Looking at us 4, damn, she might have messed up big style on a number of issues, but she sure got it right in how she brought us up in our formative years.

I remember going to JHB and Mom having the after school business because that was the only way to survive. I remember buying some speakers and putting them into her trusty old Peugeot and her being so wonderfully happy with that. I remember pulling Dave around the lawn on his sled behind the motor bike at Cecil Avenue – I am sure that is why he is brain damaged today! I remember going hunting in Mom’s Citroën and Mark putting the adjustable suspension up to full height and thinking it was great! I remember Mark stealing the Hino truck and going hunting at night and being caught by Dave Scherm! I remember Mark creeping over the squash court roof to visit Lorraine! I remember Dale and me taking Lorraine to the movies and her being somewhat surprised it was Monte Python. I remember Mark telling me to get the bikes fixed up for sale so he could buy the trusty old Honda 50cc much against Mom’s will. I remember sitting on the veranda at Cecil Ave with Laine and Dave, taking in the sun and then going for a dip in the pool. I remember Bernard watering the garden in the rain.

I remember so many amazing things and all because Mom did everything she possibly could to give us a world to thrive in and become all that we are.

I also remember when she finally had her spirit broken by the grinding wheels of life and lost the place in JHB. From then on it was real hard on all of us, and especially Dave and Elaine – but also on Mom. I often say to Mark that he is my big brother and that I love him and respect him for that. He just laughs and thinks it’s silly maybe, but what Mark and Lorraine did to get Mom back to as normal as possible I will never forget and will always be truly grateful for. Lorraine is not my sister in law, but for me another sister to be thankful for. Barrie the same, well not so much a sister but another brother! Dave, I haven’t had the chance to spend a lot of time with Christine, but from the time I have had I believe she will become the same – sister that is, not brother! I guess the point is that we are so lucky to have such love for each other even across the miles. It gives us strength and on top of that we are also part of the whole Schermbrucker family which again is amazing.

Ah, what is the point of this rambling email I hear you all cry!

So here it is.

Mom the old war horse, she has carried us all through all these battles in life to make sure we had the best she could give, so now, let’s give her space to chill out. She has given all and it is time for her to rest up. Let’s feed her apples and put her in the top field where the grass is sweetest. Let’s make her feel like a princess and make sure every day is a happy day. As Mark and Elaine said, we should inform her of the detriment of her smoking and lack of exercise, but let’s give her space to act on that. In the meantime let’s make sure she knows why we love her. The example of the memories above are the things that will truly boost her appetite for life! Let’s remind her of all the good things she has done and how she can do more, especially with the next generation of grand kids and being in Cape Town where there is more family around her. She is a tough old bird you know, and the most important thing is to see her happy without worrying too much that the habits of a lifetime are going to suddenly make her disappear! She has fought through a lifetime of stress and pain and given hope, understanding and love will survive for quite some time!

I love you guys very much and we all love Mom. I am just so grateful to be a part of such a wonderful family. That, my siblings is really what it is all about!